UBF Survivor Resources

Resources for UBF Survivors

I have compiled books, websites and media of potential interest to UBF survivors. They are sorted by category first and then by the strength with which I would recommend the item.

Books on Thought Reform

Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism: A Study of Brainwashing in China by Robert Jay Lifton: The first, and classic source on thought reform. An edited version of the most important chapter (number 22) can be found online here.
Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan: One of the foremost books on mind control. Hassan prefers to use his own model of thought reform, which differs slightly from Lifton's. In any case, Hassan, himself an ex-Moonie, knows his stuff.

Books on Theological Aberrations and Spiritual Abuse

Healing Grace: Finding Freedom from the Performance Trap by David Seamands: The primary book responsible for my departure from UBF. Seminary professor and former missionary Seamands shows clearly the dangers associated with performance-based Christianity and maps a path toward a grace-filled Christian life. These days, such a book would be way too conservative for my taste, but it filled its purpose at the time.
Tired of Trying to Measure Up by Jeff VanVonderen: Along with Healing Grace, this book helped me to realize the need for grace in Christian life, and how UBF rendered grace impossible. This is a good book for questioning UBFers to read because it will show them entirely spiritual, sound, Christian reasons for leaving UBF. VanVonderen does not go around accusing anyone of being a cult, but he makes clear that certain situations are not healthy, either emotionally or spiritually.
Twisted Scriptures by Mary Alice Chrnalogar: An excellent book on scripture twisting by abusive Christian groups. Much of this material applies directly to UBF. Indeed, Chrnalogar has employed "Tom Brown," the former UBFer featured in Enroth's Churches that Abuse, as one of her editors. This may be the best book to start with when considering leaving UBF.
Churches that Abuse by Ronald Enroth: Sociologist Enroth gives case studies of several abusive churches and UBF figures prominent among them.
The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen: A classic book on spiritual abuse from a Christian perspective, now available in a new edition.
Toxic Faith by Stephen Arterburn and Jack Felton: One of a growing number of Christian books on spiritual abuse and religious addiction.

Books on Theology in General

Before presenting my suggested theological reading, please understand that if you are coming from a conservative Christian background, most of this material will be unsettling for you. When I first left UBF I was reading the likes of Josh McDowell, C. S. Lewis, Lee Strobel, William Lane Craig, N. T. Wright, and F. F. Bruce. If you are just coming out of UBF and desire to remain conservative in religion, I would suggest sticking with the authors I just mentioned and skipping this section of my website. You might also want to check out the Tektonics or Christian Think Tank websites. However, keep in mind that other viewpoints exist and deserve consideration.

Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism: A Bishop Rethinks the Meaning of Scripture by John Shelby Spong: Although I highly recommend this book, it would not be the first one to read when dropping out of UBF. It directly challenges many long-held Christian traditions and as such, is not for the faint of heart. A very worthwhile read for those who are willing to have their faith challenged.
The Heart of Christianity: Rediscovering a Life of Faith by Marcus J. Borg: Having discarded fundamentalism and evangelicalism, one wonders what is left of Christianity that makes sense and is relevant and useful to today's world. Here, religion professor and historical Jesus scholar Borg outlines a comprehensive vision of a modern, progressive Christianity that retains faith while discarding childish superstition.
Misquoting Jesus: The Story Behind Who Changed the Bible and Why by Bart D. Ehrman: Religion professor and former evangelical Christian Ehrman uses the best available modern scholarship to detail how, when, why and by whom the Bible was changed. This is a difficult, but essential read for those who insist on any form of Biblical inerrancy.
Reading the Bible Again for the First Time: Taking the Bible Seriously but not Literally by Marcus J. Borg: Borg describes the historical/metaphorical approach to the Bible and reviews both the Hebrew and Christian scriptures in this light, taking into account modern mainstream scholarship.
A New Kind of Christian: A Tale of Two Friends on a Spiritual Journey by Brian McLaren: McLaren was an evangelical Christian pastor thinking about leaving the ministry. Then he became friends with a pastor turned high school teacher, who helped McLaren work out his doubts and difficulties with many areas of faith. In this book, you will find the clearest explanation of the shortcomings of modern Christianity, and an outline for a "new kind" of Christianity, one appropriate for the postmodern era. McLaren is now one of the leading proponents of the "emerging church" movement.
Why the Jews Rejected Jesus by David Klinghoffer: Klinghoffer, a devout Jew, explains attitudes of Jews toward Jesus over the centuries. Most useful is his scholarly discussion of why Jesus cannot have been the Jewish Messiah. He also corrects many popular Christian misconceptions about Judaism. I greatly appreciate the author's insightful critiques of the Christian scriptures, but hope he realizes that similar criticism can also be made of the Hebrew Tanakh.
Jesus: Uncovering the Life, Teachings, and Relevance of a Religious Revolutionary by Marcus J. Borg: Here, Borg brings to light the best modern scholarship about Jesus in a single comprehensive volume. He explains the difference between the pre- and post-Easter images of Jesus and brings out the metaphorical meanings inherent in New Testament texts. In the end, Borg leaves it up to the reader to decide whether or not to believe in the factual side of the more controversial texts.
Lost Christianities: The Battles for the Scripture and the Faiths We Never Knew by Bart D. Ehrman: Ehrman explains the variety and nature of competing views in early Christianity. This book shows how different Christianity could have been had the Roman faction lost the battle for dominance to another group. To those accustomed to traditional Christianity, many of these competing groups' beliefs and practices will sound quite bizarre. A fascinating read and an excellent companion to Lost Scriptures by the same author.
A Heretic's Guide to Eternity by Spencer Burke and Barry Taylor: Burke, a former megachurch pastor, presents his views on religion versus spirituality. He associates religion with traditional dogmas and forms, a system in which God's grace or salvation is merited by belief, actions, or a decision. Contrasting with religion, spirituality is seen as an opt-out system, meaning that grace and salvation are freely bestowed to all regardless of merit, unless the individual tries really hard to reject it. Therefore, Burke asserts, being a heretic is a healthy and necessary thing. Jesus is seen as a paragon of heresy who preached a message of radical grace, and never asked anyone to create a new religion in his name.
When Jesus Came to Harvard: Making Moral Choices Today by Harvey Cox: Cox has taught a class at Harvard on Jesus and morality for twenty years and shares his insights here. You will not find didactic moral proclamations here, rather a thoughtful, scholarly approach to making Jesus's teachings relevant today.
The Phoenix Affirmations: A New Vision for the Future of Christianity by Eric Elnes: Rev. Dr. Elnes presents a twelve-point manifesto for progressive Christianity. I will not comment much about this book since the affirmations themselves are online here. In the book, for each principle, Elnes adds a chapter of his own reflections based on his life as a pastor.
Christianity for the Rest of Us: How the Neighborhood Church is Transforming the Faith by Diana Butler Bass: Only conservative Evangelical churches can grow. Mainline Protestant churches are dying because they present a lukewarm message and a watered-down gospel. Such maxims sound familiar in the U.S. and many people find them true. However, author Bass has been scouring the country searching for counterexamples. In her book she details the practices of ten example mainline, moderate-to-liberal, Protestant churches which have overcome the stereotype and are growing and thriving. This is not the "turn or burn" faith of the Religious Right megachurches, it is Christianity for the rest of us.
Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC by Frederick Buechner: After being in UBF, one certainly needs to learn or relearn the basics of theology. This very well-written book is short and to the point. My favorite part of the book is the section on Vocation, "The kind of work God usually calls you to is the kind of work (a) that you need most to do and (b) that the world most needs to have done." Brilliant.
Living in Sin?: A Bishop Rethinks Human Sexuality by John Shelby Spong: Are the following things always sinful: gender equality, homosexuality, divorce, premarital sexual intercourse? The answer, on all accounts, is no. Surprising? Then read this book and find out why thoughtful reflection on the Bible leads us to this conclusion.
Handbook of Biblical Social Values, John J. Pilch and Bruce J. Malina, editors.: Find out the huge role cultural context plays in Biblical studies. Many Bible sayings cannot be taken literally from their original and applied to a modern situation. This is because the Bible is the product of a much different culture than ours. For instance, the culture of Biblical times was an "honor/shame" society in which there was little concept of personal guilt.

Books on Psychology

In general, I think psychology books promise a lot, but fail to deliver the goods. While the first book listed has substantial genuine worth, I recommend the other two books more for the questions they raise than for the answers they give.

Overcoming Depression One Step at a Time by Michael E. Addis and Christopher R. Martell: In addition to cognitive therapy (changing one's thought patterns) and medication, behavioral therapy is also an effective tool for managing psychological disorders. Presenting information in a workbook format, Drs. Addis and Martell describe how one can often successfully improve one's mood by analyzing and then carefully changing one's behaviors.
The Pleasure Zone: Why we resist good feelings & how to let go and be happy by Stella Resnick: Especially when someone has experienced prolonged trauma, it is necessary to learn how to feel again. I encourage people to pick up this book to spark some thought about the variety of feelings available to human beings, and the degree to which we can decide how we feel.
Intimate Connections by David D. Burns: This book sets up unrealistic expectations by billing itself as "the clinically proven program for making close friends and finding a loving partner." Psychiatrist Burns even quotes stories of sudden drastic improvements in his patients who applied the principles in this book. I don't buy it. But I recommend the book anyway because it is important to make real friends in life, not the kind of fake friends that UBF gives you. You will not make friends by reading a book, but if you put forth some consistent effort for a couple years, you will get somewhere.

Other Books of Interest

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini: Psychologist Cialdini studies the principles of influence that greedy businesses, pushy people, and yes, even cults, use to get us to alter our thoughts and behavior in a predetermined manner. Essential reading for those proud unbelievers who boast, "No one can make me think or do something unless I want to do it."
Who Wrote the Bible? by Richard E. Friedman: Do you still think that Moses was the author of the first five books of the Bible? If so, then this book is for you. According to the Documentary Hypothesis, the Torah was written by four principal authors: the Yahwist (J), Elohist (E), Priestly (P) and Deuteronomic (D) writers. Scholars have been able to deduce quite a bit about who these authors were and when they wrote. A recent archaeological discovery may have even turned up the signature of one of the authors. Exciting stuff for aficionadoes of the Hebrew Scriptures.
Moral Minority: Our Skeptical Founding Fathers by Brooke Allen: Journalist Allen discusses the religious lives (or lack thereof) of six prominent founding fathers and debunks the myth that the USA was created as a Christian nation on Christian principles.

Websites on UBF

RSQUBF
UBF Info Pages
EscapeUBF
UBF at the Rick Ross Institute
UBF at the Apologetics Index, a Christian site
Ex 2nd-gen Joe Chung's Blog
Highlights of the Abuses and Cult-like Activities of UBF
The UBF Wikipedia article
- Although this is not a good site for getting unbiased information about UBF (UBF people regularly monitor and attempt to control the contents of the article), it is useful because in some versions of the article, portions written by the UBF members readily show their twisted thinking.

Websites on Thought Reform and Spiritual Abuse

Dangerous Groups, a UMD Site
Mind Control on Wikipedia
- Note that because this source is a wiki, cult people can and do edit this article. For example, this article considers cult apologists, such as J. Gordon Melton, to be "religion scholars."
Spiritual Abuse on Wikipedia
Spiritual Abuse - the Apologetics Index

Healthy Alternatives to UBF

Churches

My suggestion for finding a church is to read up on the different denominations (assuming you are interested in a Christian church) and visit a few. You can find a lot of helpful information by looking through the Wikipedia Christian denominations list. Also, I have personally tested and found the following churches to be worthwhile:

Of these four, the UU church deserves special mention because it is not a Christian church. Rather, it is a liberal, pluralistic association of independent congregations. Individual UU members can be Christian, Jewish, humanist, pagan, Buddhist, or just about anything. While all UU churches are liberal, individual congregations in the three Christian denominations listed span the spectrum from progressive to traditional.

Campus Ministries

It is best to try a campus ministry sponsored by a respectable denomination. An example of such a ministry is the Wesley Foundation at UMD, where I belonged for a year and a half.

Other Websites of Interest

For your Listening Pleasure

Elegy by Amorphis: Amorphis started out as a death metal band. Although there are a decent number of growls on this disc, the music here is a very unique brand of progressive metal. This music is complex and multi-layered, with lead guitar playing a major role. During most songs, the rhythm guitar plays a driving, crunching riff pattern, while the lead guitar plays a more complicated melody. Some songs feature extended solos and extemporaneous jams. Brilliant music here, the best I have come across since UBF!
Streets: a Rock Opera by Savatage: A concept album/rock opera about the life of a drug dealer turned rock star who goes on a spiritual journey. The closing song, "Believe" is the most heart-moving, inspirational song I've heard. An all around stellar disc by a very classy prog metal band.
Dogman, Gretchen Goes to Nebraska, Faith Hope Love, and Out of the Silent Planet by King's X: An often unknown and underrated band. Their style can perhaps best be described as proggy, funky hard rock with soulful vocals and catchy harmonies. Some of their lyrics have Christian influences. The song "Mission" from Gretchen asks, "What's the mission of the preacher man? Some are true. Some do lie." UBF survivors have learned this lesson the hard way.
Doomsday Machine by Arch Enemy: A bit more extreme than the other listening here recommended, this is melodic death metal with a female growler. Some of the lyrics from the opener, "Taking Back My Soul" resonate with my experience getting out of UBF: "No more! It's over, I'm on to you, your evil game. The tables have turned, I'm taking back my soul."
Burnt Offerings by Iced Earth: Some of the finest American power metal is to be had here. Of particular interest is the song "Brainwashed," which describes UBF pretty well: "Christ, ... they twist and turn your words for their own needs. They're brainwashed puppets...."
For Madmen Only by Atomic Opera: An overlooked gem among melodic hard rock. This is a Christian band, but their spirituality appears mature and subtle as opposed to upfront and grating. I particularly like the song, "I Know Better." The song speaks of the danger in the pride of thinking that we have everything figured out spiritually. As the song says, "Sometimes I think I know, but I know better." The anti-war song "War Drum" starts off with a smoking electric guitar rendition of some old-time hymns.
The Human Equation by Ayreon: Ayreon plays prog rock, with various influences but an overall 70's vibe. This is a two-disc concept album and rock opera. It is about a man who is struggling to recover from a car accident that landed him in the hospital. To be trite, the album is of interest because it depicts the triumph of the human spirit over adversity. Really, though, the music is excellent. Vocalists from numerous different bands contribute as parts in the opera. My favorite song is "Loser," which features a bone-crushing celtic riff, a smoking Hammond solo by Ken Hensley of Uriah Heep fame, and some awesome growls and screams by Devin Townsend.
Metallica by Metallica: A classic album. Of interest here is the song, "Holier than Thou." "Gossip burning on the tip of your tongue, You lie so much you believe yourself." These are some lyrics that UBFers definitely need to hear.
Victims of Deception by Heathen: This disc by Heathen explores the cult phenomenon in its lyrics. After hearing a recording of Jim Jones for a minute, the listener will be treated to some prime thrash metal in the vein of And Justice for All-era Metallica. A pre-chorus from the first track exemplifies the lyrical stance present, "You must control your own mind. You're the only one that can release you. It's yourself you've got to find."
Folkemon by Skyclad: Skyclad has been aptly described as "Judas Priest with a fiddle." This is thrash metal with celtic folk influences. Of particular interest is the opening thrasher, "The Great Brain Robbery." Two parts in the song remind me of UBF - one part talks about false prophets and the song ends with a summary of UBF-like activity: "They subjugate free-will, with intolerance and strife. Won't be content until they own your money and your life.... The Great Brain Robbery." Other highlights of the disc include "Polkageist!" and "The Disenchanted Forest," the latter having a killer celtic-inspired riff.
Experience Hendrix: The Best of Jimi Hendrix: Of course, I have to recommend that all UBFers and UBF survivors listen to the song "Foxey Lady."
Psycho Surgery by Tourniquet: Tourniquet is the premiere Christian thrash metal band. Although the title track smokes, the second track, "A Dog's Breakfast" is of particular interest. It is a song about exposing cults. All the lyrics on this disc are spiritually based.
Elegant... and Dying by Virgin Black: Virgin Black plays goth metal. They are of interest because the band members are Christians who are all survivors of spiritual abuse. I love the hauntingly beautiful two-part, "And the Kiss of God's Mouth," but the rest of the disc bores me. I'd suggest you go to the band's website and download their mp3's.

Resources that were not helpful

The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale: While there is definitely truth to the idea that thought patterns govern your mood, and I agree that negative thought patterns should be challenged, this book is not the way to do it. One will be better off reading more modern literature on cognitive/behavioral therapy. This Wikipedia article on Peale contains some information about the controversy surrounding his approach.
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie: This book's approach is entirely too simplistic to have any effect on someone with a genuine anxiety problem. One would be better off seeking out literature such as The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook or The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook.

Last updated April 12, 2008.